We lied. We claimed this site was solely for humor, and that you wouldn't find helpful advice anywhere on errant parent. Well, sometimes you just come across a product or a book or a little something that takes your parenting role up a notch -- you know from indentured servant to gopher. Here's where we feature things that might make your life as a caregiver a little easier. 

 

MAKE MINE A DOUBLE

So it snows. And it snows. And it snows. Last week, 49 of the 50 United States had snow on the ground. Hawaii -- surprise, surprise -- was the holdout. And (out of respect, not bitterness) we'll refrain from making cheap jokes here about how Hawaii (that hussy) is always getting lei'd.

Anyway. The rest of us fish-belly pale citizens are cold.

And sick.

And tired.

Tired, particularly, of our kids not going to school. I mean, parents can only watch a kid make so many Play-Doh face-fossils before they suggest the kid go back to trying to Scotch tape his nose to the back of his head. 

Flash cards? No.

Nick Jr? Yawn.

A round of indoor baseball with my wadded up pantyhose and a fireplace poker? Gee, Mom! Yes! You're awesome!!

No, I'm not. (Blush.) Really, I'm not. I'm just over here enjoying myself a hot toddy. You go on now. Scooty patootie! Mommy's going to throw back some tea.

As you should.

Here's the recipe:

1 cup of hot tea (Earl Grey is best, dishwater will do.)

1 tablespoon of honey (Organic clover is best, Splenda will do.)

2 ounces of bourbon (Woodford Reserve is best, lighter fluid will do.)

1/4 of a lemon squeezed (A succinct blast of Pledge will suffice.)

and finally...a cinnamon stick (This is darling, but we're not going for darling here, are we? I mean, you're not going to drink this and watch Olympic Ice Dancing, right? You're going to hold your nose, shoot back a couple of these, hand the kids some paint ball guns, and turn on Anchorman, aren't you? Oh, thank goodness. You had me worried.)

 

THE TAMING OF THE SLEW

At our house, we have a slew of Legos. Most days, we wade through them, tiptoe around them, or pretend they don't bother us because, at least, they're a "brain toy." But after rendering ourselves lame on one too many primary-colored land mines, we knew some sort of order was in order.

After a visit (or should I say pilgrimage) to the Lego store in Orlando, we got smart and started sorting our Legos by color. That's how it was done in the store, and, if you notice (which I hadn't before), that's what the Lego kit directions always suggest. Our next problem was what to put the colored-sorted Legos in. We tried Tupperware, but the containers were too deep -- meaning to play with the Legos, or to find a specific Lego, our son was forced to dump the contents. And if you're like us, the sound of a big-ass container of toys being dumped (usually when you're only two sips into your morning coffee) is akin to talons on a blackboard.

After lots of Internet research, we found what we hoped was the solution. Enter the Sterilite 7-Drawer Craft Cart. Made of sturdy plastic and with seven shallow drawers that don't require dumping, it also has casters for rolling ease and lids for each container. We bought two -- 14 drawers for 10 Lego colors, Lego kit directions, and some miscellany. We're in love! Never mind that the sort of plastic this savior is made out of probably gives off toxic fumes, when you need something this bad (think: epidural) you don't care if you start to sprout a tail a few years down the road.

These $30-ish guys are available pretty much everywhere that requires a schlep across town -- Target, Walmart, etc. And they are probably pretty handy for girls' toys, too. We don't have a Polly Pocket in this house, but we hear they come with lots and lots of teeny tiny tidbits. Think of this as Polly's condo.