top nine things to put on your child's face to repel creepy aunt smells-funny and forestall her insistence for a helping of holiday smoochy-smoochy*

BY REBECCA NAZAR

1. Police Do Not Cross Tape

2. A Plethora of Post-It Notes That Read: I Have Tested Positive for (fill in the blank).

3. Soap Chips

4. Fly Tape (unused)

5. Shaving Cream (used)

6. Pine Bark

7. Small Mirrors

8. Old Birds' Nests

9. Coarse-Grade Sandpaper

*because the "Please Don't Touch" t-shirt was a bust last year

Rebecca is the Runner-up for our Thanksgiving-themed Top Nine List Contest. Rebecca lives in Readfield, Maine. She can be reached at: becca.nazar@gmail.com