errant parent features new humor every Wednesday. You can (and should!) become a fan of errant parent on Facebook; you can (and must!) follow errant parent on Twitter; and you can (we love fan mail!) contact us at: editors@errantparent.com.

If you have complaints or suggestions, well, we've had small people hanging off of us all day, and we have a headache, and it's really getting late, and we didn't have a chance to shave today, so maybe in the morning, OK?

To submit, visit our submit tab. And PLEASE read the submission guidelines; we genuinely appreciate awkward, typo-laden pornography, but we DO NOT publish it. Read it and laugh and roll our eyes and read it again? Yes. Publish? No.

To subscribe, visit our subscribe tab.

For advertising, please contact us at: ads@errantparent.com. We offer reasonable rates, as well as promotional opportunities through Twitter, Facebook, and our seasonal contests. As an errant parent advertiser, you help pay our talented and funny contributors.

There. We can't think of anything else to go in the about section. Except that errant parent is a Taurus that's looking for a blonde, non-smoking, contortionist, foodie Capricorn that's good at Beer Pong, needlework, and curling. That shouldn't be too hard to find. Right?